Jerusalem's Big Brother Big Sisters Program nurtures long-lasting bonds
By Chava Weiss 

"How are you related?"

I guess if you live in Israel long enough, you are supposed to get used to unbound curiosity.

"We are family," I respond. And the answer is true, even though we are not linked by DNA or ties of marriage.

I was introduced to Sara when she was eleven years old. Her mother had died of cancer a year earlier, and she and her siblings had been placed in a dormitory home because their father was unable to care for them on his own. Sara was given caring special attention, but it was clear that she needed another source of support.

That's how I came into the picture. I was introduced to Sara by her dormitory counselors as her "big sister." I told her we would get together every Tuesday and go out together, or maybe just visit in my home.

Her first question was, "How long will this last?"

"As long as you want," I answered.

She was skeptical. I may have been less confident than I tried to sound, but it turns out, my answer was correct. In those first months, my new apartment felt more like home when we baked pizza, made milkshakes and watched videos together on the couch. Occasionally, Sara would still ask how long this would last.

I came up with an often-repeated reply, "Until I am so old that you will have to cut my pizza into tiny slices, because I will have no teeth."

Sara recently completed her post-high school national service, and is now working at odd jobs, taking dance lessons and contemplating what to study. When I open my front door to a pretty young woman with a chiming cell-phone, my mind sometimes takes me back to the sixth grader with a heavy book bag who insisted that I didn't need to wait for her at the bus stop. It's a bit overwhelming. Sometimes it makes me wonder what it will feel like to eat pizza with dentures.

Sara and I have become family. We share albums with photos of our visit to the zoo, her first day of high school, and birthday trips to the beach. The rough spots are not documented in celluloid, but they are embedded in our emotional hard drives. Growth experiences, I believe they are called.

In all its splendor, and occasional tribulation, "big sisterhood" is a huge growth experience—as much for the mentor as for the child.

I actually met Sara through a previous mentoring program, but have continued the relationship as part of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Israel, which was founded over four years ago and which is the official affiliate of Big Brothers Big Sisters International. Libby Reichman, founder and director, explains that a long-term investment is essential to making a difference in the life of a vulnerable child from a single-parent family. Short-term interventions have their value, but children thrive when they feel the consistent presence of a responsible and caring adult in their lives.

Libby and her colleagues invest thoughtful efforts in matching "big" brothers and sisters (ages 18-60) with their "little" siblings (ages 5-18). Volunteers are carefully screened, and interviews are conducted with the parents or guardians of children from single-parent homes. A range of factors are taken into account, from the emotional needs of both the mentors and the children to the logistics and geography that will facilitate weekly meetings. Well over a hundred and twenty matches have been in Jerusalem and branches in Tel Aviv and Gush Etzion are moving forward with great success. Sometimes the first encounter can be as awkward as a blind date, but once the connection is made, the retention rate is impressively high.

The need is great in Jerusalem, where nearly half of the population is under the age 18, and a growing proportion of children are being raised in single-parent households. For these children, a long-term mentor is a friend, a role model, and a lifeline in times of distress. For the adults who nurture these children, Big Brothers Big Sisters provides an opportunity to enrich their own lives and make a world of difference in the life of a child.
If you would like to become a Big Brother or Big Sister to a child in Jerusalem, Tel Aviv or Gush Etzion, or if you would like to support our work, please contact the Big Brothers Big Sisters office, at 02-561-2131. The office is located at Emek Refaim 43B; and the website is www.bigbrothers.org.il .
You can also contribute by helping us to create a new home. We are seeking a space that will serve as an office and a clubhouse for our mentors and our children.

Jerusalem's Big Brother Big Sisters Program nurtures long-lasting bonds
By Chava Weiss Jerusalem's Big Brother Big Sisters Program nurtures long-lasting bonds
By Chava Weiss